Wingman Wayne is the fourth episode of Season 1 of Letterkenny.
It’s competition time in Letterkenny! The first Hick to score some tail gets fifty bucks off their bar tab.
You're out getting good with your pals the other night… — Wayne
The Hicks discuss their sexual dry spells. Gail points out that students will be home soon for the summer, which could cure their spring fever if the Hicks are on their game. She offers $50 off the bar tab for whoever breaks the dry spell first, relating going into "cougar mode" last year where she might have hooked up with a second cousin.
You naturally prefer companionship, but I guess there's a lot worse things than playing a little one-man couch hockey in the dark. — Wayne
The Hicks prepare for the first Thirsty Thursday. Wayne says he most excited about playing Buck Hunter. He and Daryl explain why they don't wear belts.
'Cause we buy pants that fucking fit. — Wayne
Reilly and Jonesy sit in Reilly's car bemoaning their tenth loss in a row. They go down the roster disparaging the other players. They ask Katy why she doesn't come to the games, and she says it's because they never play. They meet with the Coach, who calls them out as poseurs who only care about the hockey player lifestyle. They seek to prove him wrong.
On Night 1 of the bet at MoDean's, the Hicks are deep in conversation; Dan explains why you never give a sword to a hooker. Gail warns Daryl off Kyle Schneidstiller's sister— "she's been knocked up twice— and Wayne mentions that she dated Boots for a while. They discuss whether the Ginger and Boots were able to fuck an ostrich, as rumoured. They observe another girl putting on a "hair show" trying to attract Daryl's attention. Daryl says he will pursue—after a couple more drinks.
The hockey players discuss their workout plans, ripping every kind of exercise—except legs. Jonesy hates leg day.
Let's skip leg day. — Reilly
On Night 2, McMurray tells Wayne about Angie's latest boyfriend, his car, and his clothing choices, in considerable detail. A woman offers Wayne a quick squeezer in the parking lot, but he does not take her up. Dan and Daryl comment on another patron, who passes them. Wayne observes her touching Dan's back in an "unnecessary squeeze-by" and suggests he pursue. Dan says he will—after a couple more drinks.
Reilly and Jonesy are studying a recording of the game when they are joined by Katy. They plan to "rip silly plyometrics" afterwards and invite her to watch, which she accepts. After watching them, she has them take off their shirts, and agrees to come watch them play.
On Night 3, a young woman named Jessica—evidently Jivin' Pete's daughter—approaches Wayne and asks where to find the washroom. He observes that she gave him "the big eyes," with her face straight but her eyes looking up like a puppy dog. He looks over and she gives him the big eyes again, inviting him to join her in the washroom with a nod. Wayne gets up to accept the offer, but sees Angie's name on the shift schedule, and leaves instead.
Coach notices Jonesy and Reilly's new hustle and praises them. Shoresy and the other players, however, notice Katy in the stands and make crude remarks about her, bothering Reilly and Jonesy. They argue over who has dibs on her digits.
A dibs is a dibs is a dibs, buddy! — Shoresy
Gail and Katy lament the pedestrian romantic efforts of the Hicks. Reilly and Jonesy come by the bar after the game. Katy tells them she enjoyed the game, but they tell her to stop coming because she is "too distracting for the boys." She tells them she'll have to give her digits to one of their teammates.
Reilly and Jonesy exchange pillow talk about their day, from posting about workouts they didn't do to discussing the sando Reilly had for lunch. They close out preparing to "masturbate aggressively," at which point the camera zooms out to reveal they have been video chatting.
The post-credits scene features pillow talk between Reilly and Jonesy in bed, talking about their respective days: the exercises that they "almost" did, the sandwich Reilly ate, and Kaboom Atomic's flow. Concluding this, Reilly coyly says there is "one more thing" to take care of before sleeping: a bit of "one-man couch hockey," i.e. "hand to gland combat," i.e. aggressively masturbate. The camera then zooms out to show that they are not in bed together, but video chatting from separate rooms on laptops, as Jonesy hits a key and the sounds of a pornographic actress are heard.
- Dan: Ya guys knows if Gail's makin' pickled eggs or pickled sausages? Bear in mind there is no wrong answer to this question.
- Reilly: Katy, how come you don't watch us play any more?
Katy: 'Cause you're dogshit?
Jonesy: We're not dogshit. I mean, the boys are dogshit, but I mean, we're pretty good.
Katy: Is that why they always play and you guys never do?
- Coach: What do you guys think of the program?
Reilly: Well, uh…
Coach: Just kidding, I don't give a fuck.
- Jonesy: Okay, bro, workout program. Go.
Reilly: Gotta start with burpees, buddy.
Jonesy: Just ripping burpee box jumps, buddy.
Reilly: 50 burpees, 50 pushups.
Jonesy: 50 burpees, 50 pushups, stairs.
Reilly: Protein break.
Jonesy: Just ripping skull crashers.
Reilly: Just rippin' forced reps.
Jonesy: Forced rep super sets. Bird up.
Reilly: Just rippin' anti-gravity press.
Jonesy: Just rippin' Advanced Kettlebell Windmill.
Reilly: Just rippin' barbell half-squats.
Jonesy: Just rippin' drop sets.
Reilly: Just rippin' Swiss ball jackknifes.
Jonesy: Just rippin' silly animal stack.
Reilly: Just rippin' bent over rear delt raise with head on bench.
Jonesy: Fuckin' delts to die for, buddy.
Reilly: Just rippin' cable rope overhead tricep extensions. Hashtag no excuses.
Jonesy: Hashtag beach body.
Jonesy: Hate doing legs.
Reilly: Let's skip leg day.
- Gail: She's so hot I'd jerk off her dad just to see where she came from.
- Gail: Took one look at it and thought, "Jesus Christ, woman, you shit with that ass?"
- Gail: You wanna do 68? You'll go down on me and I'll owe you one.
- Reilly: Had the sickest sandos today too, buddy.
Jonesy: Yo, recap on the sandos, buddy.
Reilly: Sliced up some ciabatta bread Ma got from the Mennonite deli, toasted it, stackeded it with baloney, stackeded it with ham, stackeded it with sliced chicken…
Jonesy: You stack the ched, buddy.
Reilly: I like to stack ched, buddy.
Jonesy: I know, buddy.
Reilly: Spicy mustard, spicy relish, Montreal steak spice. Nuked it, 40 seconds.
Jonesy: You are a B-A-eauty!
Reilly: Registered beautician!
- Reilly and Jonesy hate leg day\
- Jivin' Pete's nuts
- The Ginger and Boots (allegedly) fucked an ostrich
- When Reilly and Jonesy are excited, they run off in opposite directions
- The bedtime conversation between Reilly and Jonesy is the only after-credits scene thus far in the series.
According to Tunefind, the following songs are featured in the episode:
- Tries by Kaboom Atomic, Aalo Guha
- Haunted House by Dead Ghosts
- Getting Older by Dead Ghosts
- Crazy Glue by The Bloggers
- That's It, That's All by We Are The City
- "Babe" (Jaymee-Lee Weir)
- "Hair Girl" (Jazmin Paradis)
- "Squeeze By Girl" (Meriko Saito)
- "Short Girl/Big Eyes: Jessica " (Marie-Josee Dionne)