The Native Flu is the fourth episode of Season 2 of Letterkenny.
Synopsis[edit | edit source]
Reilly and Jonesy have an away game on the Rez.
Cold Open[edit | edit source]
You're out pickin' stones with your pals the other day… — Wayne
Wayne admits to Dan, Daryl, and Katy that he saw Stewart's penis, looking like "a tall boy can of Red Bull hanging there.… a tube of tennis balls… policeman's flashlight from the 1980s…" The men are happy for him. Katy raises the question of proportionality. "Like a deflated football hangin' there." Katy leaves, bothered.
There's such a thing as too much horn talk and a fella oughta be fuckin' aware of it. — Wayne
Plot Summary[edit | edit source]
This is senior A whale shit hockey. Do you think I check the scheddy? — Reilly
The opponent turns out to be the Natives, and the other players accuse them of having the native flu. They deny this, but go to the farm to ask the Hicks for backup outside the arena. Katy tricks them into admitting they had received handjobs from their billet sisters while the three were dating.
The Hicks are reluctant, but Katy reminds them "when a man asks you for help, you help him," and they assent, Wayne so he can have a scrap, Daryl to get cheap darts, and Dan for the venison pepperettes. For additional backup, they recruit Joint Boy and Tyson. They do not invite the Ginger and Boots, but Wayne explains in detail that it would have been impossible for them to fuck an ostrich unless it was a dead ostrich.
Actually, I'm just looking for some three-inch screws to hang a frame. Hey—you know what three inches looks like, right? — Katy
Reilly and Jonesy arrive at the arena at the Rez and, as expected, are met by Tanis, who directs her gang to "do some damage" to them. The Hicks show behind them, and Tanis backs off, but warns them the hockey players she has four lines of "BFIs" ("Big Fuckin' Indians") waiting inside as well. She approaches Wayne and asks him to lift the ban on Letterkenny, but he declines.
Inside the arena, Reilly and Jonesy are attacked the moment they get on the ice. In the parking lot, a series of one-on-one brawls ensue between the natives and the Hicks. As the Hicks have a tailgate cookout, discussing the best beef and how best to cook it, Reilly and Jonesy are ejected from the game for fighting twice, but are jumped a final time as they stumble to the lockers.
Tanis approaches Wayne again and threatens him with a BFI she has on standby, but Wayne does not believe he exists. Tanis tells him that they sell darts because the proceeds got to benefit the community. To underscore that point, she presents Dustin, a young boy who needs a baseball mitt, and Wally, who talks about the bare shelves in the elders' lodge, but Wayne is unmoved. Tanis then presents a three-legged dog— and then another three-legged dog— and Wayne is moved to lift the ban, allowing the natives to sell darts Saturday morning in the farmers' market parking lot.
Katy and Devon have another chirp match in the dollar store parking lot. Katy tosses him a bag of Gus' excrement.
Back at the produce stand, the Hicks debate whether the big dude Tanis threatened exists or not. Later that night, Wayne is sleepless thinking about the issue, and drives over to the Rez. Tanis admits that he does not exist
Youse worked through our finest. No one else measures up. — Tanis
She invites him to stay for a cookout, which he initially declines, but after she tells him how she likes to prepare steaks, he hesitates, and she grabs him by the jeans.
Quotes[edit | edit source]
- Wayne: We all lay off the Ginger and Boots now. Because the Ginger and Boots did not fuck an ostrich.
Reilly: Yeah, I heard they fucked two ostriches.
- Glen: Ginny? The Ginger and Boots effed a dead ostrich. Of course I know what the male ones are called—check my browser history!
- Reilly: We do not have the native flu.
Barts: No? So what's got you looking like a fraidy-cat, you little bitch? Yorkie.
Yorkie: Cacophobia? The fear of ugliness? Don't think so. I'm gorgeous. Scholtzy.
Scholtzy: Coprophobia? The fear of poop? Nah. You both pooped your pants when we mentioned the natives, pussy. Fisky.
Fisky: Alektorophobia? The fear of chickens? Uh-uh. 'Cause you'd be afraid of each other. Boomtown.
Boomtown: Pentheraphobia? Fear of your mother-in-law? Fuck that. I love my mother-in-law like I love my wife. I'm a good man!
- Devon: This is awkward but your shirt seems to have shrunk in the wash.
Katy: Not awkward, things shrink in the wash. How do you explain your dick?
- Wayne: Get off the cross, we need the wood.
- Reilly: We do not have the native flu
Tanis: Right. And one tit's better than two.
Reilly: Tanis, what we want to do is go inside, rip a couple of snap bombs and then go home.
Jonesey: Just wanna rip some snaps and bury some claps, Tanis.
Reilly: Hack some limbs and rack some PIMS.
Jonesy: Lay beats and fill seats.
Tanis: Yeah? Youse want to get pucks deep?
Reilly: Get pucks deep.
Jonesy: Yeah, get pucks in the net.
Tanis: Shut the fuck up.
- Tanis: One-inch thick wagyu, New York. Heavily salt and peppered. Grill at 400. Four minutes total. Flip once a minute for those good grill marks. Let sit for two minutes and then down the hatch.
Running gags[edit | edit source]
- Stewart is well-endowed
- The native flu
- The Ginger and Boots may have fucked an ostrich
- Wayne doesn't give a fuck about your kids
- Is that politically correct?
- Just kiddin', I don't give a fuck.
Trivia[edit | edit source]
- The facility depicted as the hockey arena at the Rez is actually the same building used for the Letterkenny hockey arena (the Gerry McCrory Countryside Sports Complex), just shot from a different side.
- Literally translated, Wagyu means Japanese cattle, and thus Japanese wagyu is somewhat redundant.
Music[edit | edit source]
According to Tunefind, the following songs are featured in this episode:
- Darkhorses (feat. Johnny Bell) by Annakin Slayd
- Stand in the Sand by Twin Peaks
- Bike Home by Humans
- Hyperbolic 2 by Busdriver
- Droptop by AMAC
Appearances[edit | edit source]
- the other Letterkenny Irish
- Joint Boy