Wayne and The Hicks help their old pal Gail get to the bottom of a strange brew happening at the local bar.
Well, Halloween isn't so bad. — Wayne
The Hicks discuss the upcoming Devil's Night at the produce stand. Dan says his cousin Samuel is very sorry for stealing a full-sized candy bar from his little sister, but Wayne will have none of it. Daryl calls out Wayne for "big league-ing" the town by handing out full-sized chocolate bars, and Wayne calls out Daryl for "backdooring" the kids by handing out quarter-sized chocolate bars. Daryl says he will backdoor the trick-or-treaters just like he backdoored Wayne. Katy calls for context.
Get your mind out of the gutter. — Wayne
Gail invites the Hicks over to MoDean's early—an hour before she is even allowed to serve beer—to tell them that the place is haunted. She points to a growler of Uncle Eddie's pig hoof hops ale on the shelf, which he asked her to drink with him when they were in bed, shortly before he died, in his 90s. Daryl and Dan list various types of ghosts or other supernatural beings that might be responsible. Wayne and Katy are skeptical.
They are interrupted by a crash as Bonnie McMurray enters, dressed in a Catholic school girl uniform. Dan, Daryl, and Katy gawk at the costume; "what costume?" she asks. Wayne clarifies that she has baked angel food cupcakes for the Catholic school alumnae bake sale to support their upcoming mission trip to Nicaragua.
Daryl prepares to taste one of Gail's harvest rotating beers on tap. He gives a preamble on the flavour notes of "Woolwich Taffy Cone Harvest IPA from Wellesley, Ontario," and reports that it
Tastes like a tragedy occurred while making breakfast. — Daryl
Jonesy and Reilly are brought in as suspects, given that "there is a unique brand of tomfuckery at play." They say they have not pulled Devil's Night pranks since childhood, and additionally have alibis. Each had a Tinder hookup ("swipey snipey") from 3am to 6am, and then another from 6am to 9am; after Facetiming each other from bed, they realized that they had been "accidental tunnel buddies."
Bonnie interrupts again, emerging in a revealing military uniform, which again is not a costume. Wayne clarifies that she and the other cadets have prepared their "hearty harvest chili" for the annual potluck supper for the amputee war vets in the cancer ward.
Daryl next tastes an "old style harvest pilsner from Kahnawake, Quebec," which he says
Tastes like an upset shaman's hoarded collection of spunky backwoods fruit. — Daryl
The group next interviews Tanis, accompanied by Axe and Slash. Wayne points out that her crew has a history of tomfuckery in town, but she is irritated by the implication, due to clichés about Indian burial grounds and hauntings from bad horror movies. Bonnie emerges in a Pocohantas costume, which sets Tanis off, but Wayne clarifies that she is dressed up to join a protest upcountry against cultural appropriation.
The building shifts, startling Gail, who insists that it is Uncle Eddie's ghost. Wayne makes a call.
Daryl reviews a Hellmich Premium Blonde Harvest Ale from Mitchell, Ontario; it
Tastes like wheat from the field of a stay-at-home defenseman. — Daryl
Glen, dressed as a Catholic priest; Stewart, wearing a spiritualist's turban; and Roald, dressed as himself, are seated at one of the bar tables surrounded by lit candles. They deny that they had anything to do with the prank. Stewart explains that they will have a seance; Uncle Eddie will enter Roald's body, and then Glen will exorcise his spirit and send him to hell. Wayne and Katy object that Uncle Eddie was a good guy; Glen points out that someone who comes back from the dead to have non-consensual sexual relations with a woman—and outside of wedlock—is not a good guy.
Stewart asks for five seconds of silence to summon the devil, but is interrupted by a fart, a burp, and a queef. They appear to succeed when Roald begins talking in a deep, otherworldly voice. Stewart asks Glen to exorcise Roald, but Glen admits he does not know how, and never thought it would come up. They spray Roald with holy water, and he chases them out of the building.
Bonnie enters again, in a revealing softball uniform, which Dan concludes must be a costume. In fact, she is on her way to the annual Jeff Davies Memorial baseball tournament to raise money for pit bull puppy mill rescue. The group reflects that Jeff was a good guy, and Dan that Bonnie's outfit "is not a regulation softball uniform."
The lights are out when McMurray and Mrs. McMurray enter. They are convinced it is a real ghost, having gone on guided tours on their various Caribbean vacations with "real ghost hunters." He claims to have a genuine SB-9 "ghost talkie" to be able to communicate with guests, but instead he has brought a baby monitor, and they overhear his farmhands talking about what a piece of shit McMurray is, and what they want to do with Mrs. McMurray.
Gail brings down the growler in the belief that drinking the hoof ale is the only way to please Uncle Eddie, and offers it to Daryl, who refuses to drink it, repeatedly. Under pressure from Wayne and Katy, he brings it to his lips, only to be stopped by Wayne. Wayne admits that he was the one who placed the beer there, knowing that Gail loved Halloween pranks.
The whole group is startled by a noise; it is Dan returning with his nephew Samuel. Samuel apologizes to Wayne for taking the full-size candy bar from his sister, and Wayne accepts the apology but says he will still not get a candy bar this year as punishment, which Samuel accepts. Samuel is dressed as his hero—Wayne. This softens Wayne's heart, and he picks up Samuel and tells him that he didn't say they couldn't share a candy bar. Samuel reads the label: Choco-coconut?
Coconut's fuckin' gross, asshole. — Samuel
- Daryl: Woolwich Taffy Cone Harvest I.P.A. from Wellesley, Ontario. Boastful, yet reserved. Opinionated. Selective. Elmira maple syrup, Skinner Farms smoked bacon. [sips] Hmm, tastes like a tragedy occurred while making breakfast.
- Jonesy: I haven't smashed a pumpkin on someone's doorstep since grade nine, boys.
Reilly: I haven't stuffed an egg up a tailpipe since grade eight, boys.
Jonesy: I haven't silly-stringed a car since grade seven.
Reilly: I haven't TP'd a tree since grade six.
Dan: Yeah, but do's youse have an ablibi?
Jonesy: We definitely have ablibis.
Reilly: I'm glad you asked about ablibi.
Jonesy: We've prepared a PowerPoint presentation.
- Gail: It's Uncle Eddie. He wants me to take him down again. Set his jar of pig hoof hops right there front and center.
Wayne: No, it isn't. And no he doesn't. And no he didn't.
Gail: What is it?
Wayne: Literally, five hundred million things.
- Dan: Uncle-llegedly
- Dan: Christ, she could make a softball hard.
- A good guy. A great guy.
- Wayne and McMurray constantly interrupt each other
- Bonnie McMurray
- Mrs. McMurray