Puck Bunny is the second episode of Season 3 of Letterkenny.
Wayne attempts to lure Up Country Degens to the sled shack but choosing the bait proves problematic.
You're fishin' with your pals the other day… — Wayne
Wayne sulks about the shack getting trashed. Daryl suggests he go fishing with someone else, but Wayne points out that the only other folks out fishing are the Ginger and Boots. Dan enters and rips a fart. Wayne accepts appropriate farts, but demands an end to inappropriate farts. They debate which farts are inappropriate or not, to Dan's consternation. Dan re-enters the cold.
Good. — Wayne
The Letterkenny Irish are assembled in the dressing room; the coach begins to talk, but Reilly and Jonesy send him out to have a players-only meeting about their lack of wins. While they are individually performing at the top of their game, they are embarassed by the team's winless record, and they identify the source of their problems as a puck bunny—Angie. The players are wary of the term, but Reilly spells it out:
The girl that you're all in love with, she's a puck bunny! — Reilly
Angie enters and invite the players to get appys, and they are soon fighting over her. Having failed to make progress with the team, Reilly and Jonesy run out to talk to Angie. She greets them warmly—with a string of hockey lingo. This drives the boys insane, and they are unable to continue the conversation, and they let her go. They realize that they will need someone else to speak to her—someone who speaks puck bunny.
The Hicks are back at the farm, where Wayne has dug out Katy's sled. Dan rips a long fart in the kitchen, to the objection of all others. Wayne deems it inappropriate, because you're not "ex-posed" to fart in front of girls, as Katy confirms. Dan complains that they are suffocating him, but Katy notes that is a two-way street.
They return to planning revenge on the vandals who trashed the shack. Shep and Kingsley return from taking photos of the damage, apologizing if their fat thumbs got in the way. Katy thumbs through the photos, which show Shep and Kingsley in various modeling poses, but also prove the damage was inflicted by degens from upcountry, given their love of pissing outdoors and having their fingers up their nose. The only way to defeat degens is to beat the shit out of them, and they plan accordingly.
As they get up to start work, Shep and Kingsley return downstairs to ask if they can have the photos back to use in their portfolios. Wayne has no patience for this.
Put a fuckin' shirt on! — Wayne
Reilly and Jonesy arrive seeking an audience with Katy. Unlike their recent encounters, they are conciliatory, calling her "Katy-Kat" affectionately. She is pleased to see them— but firmly objects when Jonesy reaches out to stroke her hair. They explain that a puck bunny has been ruining team spirit, and ask if she would talk to her.
Okay, I used to speak puck bunny. Forgot most of it. It's kind of one of those languages you need to really immerse yourself in to master. — Katy
She remembers it well enough, exciting the players, but she backs off: "Not my pig, not my farm." In fact, she might be interested in meeting the puck bunny one day—to which Jonesy and Reilly point out that she does know her; she is Angie. And now, she is in.
Wayne, Daryl, and Dan head out to the sled shack, where Tyson, Joint Boy, and an enraged McMurray are cleaning up. McMurray was invited in the knowledge of his deep hatred of degens, and Tyson and Joint Boy because they had helped build the shed, and had an interest in defending it. To be there, however, McMurray had to hire a hand for chorin', and Tyson had been working nights for double time. Joint Boy suggests they should claim EI.
Despite the cost, Wayne's goal is never to have to deal with degens again. They will lure them to the shack, attack them from behind degen blinds, and beat them up so badly they never return. The only thing they need is a stronger lure.
McMurray proposes that because degens are notorious racists, the Hicks should advertise a party for "ethnicities" at the shack, to lure in degens. The others are deeply skeptical, even after McMurray clarifies that they would beat up the degens before they could harm the ethnicities, and that the ethnicities would be invited to join in beating up the degens. The plan is a non-starter.
Besides racist, Tyson brings up that "homophobes is definitely degens," and McMurray agrees that being homophobic is "so gay." Dan and Wayne object that calling homophobia gay is homophobic. Joint Boy says he is pretty sure Tyson is "homophobeist"; he beat him up once for beating up a gay. Tyson replies that he didn't realize the other guy was gay, and the other guy had called him a fag. In any case, using gays to lure the degens out is deemed as bad or worse as using ethnicities.
Daryl observes that using gays as human lure would be homophobic, but they could use "fake gays," someone who may appear to be gay, but is not actually gay, and therefore if they were beaten up, it would not constitute gay bashing.
Well, yes, you'd wanna avoid a hate crime if you could. — Wayne
They agree that this will be the plan, and Wayne knows where to find some: Shep and Kingsley.
At the hockey arena, Angie enters the dressing room looking for the players, but finds only Katy. They speak puck bunny to each other for a while, as Angie relates she has been making her way up the roster, with the exception of call-ups, and Reilly and Jonesy. since she'd never want to piss Katy off. Katy scoffs at this, but starts to approach Angie, talking about her breakup with Wayne in a low, sensual voice. She points out that she never had a chance to "get" her back for it, but she could still "get" her now, and warns her softly to stay away from the dressing room, and the players, especially Jonesy and Reilly. Angie closes her eyes in anticipation of a kiss, but Katy tells her to open them, and kicks Angie hard in the crotch.
Katy calls Wayne to say
Hey, big brother, don't say I never done nothin' for ya. — Katy
A masked figure in a clown costume descends into the basement. Category:The Skids leap out from hiding and seize who they assume to be Devon. Stewart tears off the mask to find a stranger glaring back.
Wayne is out at the sled shack after a long day of preparation, which has included advertising for a gay party, recruiting fake gays, tidying up the area to make it look presentable for a fake gay party, paying Tyson and McMurray wages, and constructing degen blinds. If there is just one more chore involved in beating the shit out of degens from up country, he'd be pulling the chute. At this, the motion sensor light burns out.
McMurray then gets a text that his farmhand has the scoots, and he must rush back for chorin'. Tyson's boss texts him, also demanding he come in. Daryl observes that the wheels are falling off the project. Dan announces a fart, and for once Wayne acknowledges that it is appropriate.
Wayne realizes, at the last minute, that for all this work put in to luring the degens, the more efficient thing would have been to repel them. They try to think of what to put out that would make sure that nobody ever came out there for anything ever.
The sound of pissing outside and pants zipping is heard. The motion sensor light comes on to reveal Boots and the Ginger. The degens watch them fearfully from the blind.
It had to have been a sick ostrich. — Degen
- Jonesy: Any puck bunnies getting in the way of W's come to mind?
Barts: I once tongue-kissed a woman in line for the beer gardens at a dragon boat race, after she said she liked my team jacket. But I don't think she was a puck bunny. You little bitch. Yorkie?
Yorkie: I once open-mouth first-based a woman I delivered a gourmet coffee gift card to, after she won at a team fundraiser raffle draw. I don't think she was a puck bunny. Scholtzy?
Scholtzy: I once got an over-the-pants handy in the back seat of a Pontiac Bonneville, during a drive-in screening of Slap Shot. But I don't think she was a puck bunny. Pussy. Fisky?
Fisky: I once got a rig-friggin' gherkin-slurpin' behind a gumball machine at a bubble hockey tournament, but I don't think she was a puck bunny. Boomtown?
Boomtown: I once accidentally shit my pants while masturbating in 2010, when Crosby scored an OT to win gold, while I was simultaneously mid-orgasm. There was no one else there. But don't you think that's a good story?
Reilly: Right, I'm just gonna go ahead and spell this right the fuck out for you, boys. The girl that you're all in love with, she's a puck bunny.
- Reilly: Oh, I hate that.
Jonesy: She's speaking puck bunny, bro.
Reilly: Aw, God, girls who don't play hockey should not talk like hockey players, bud.
Jonesy: Hey! Girls who don't play hockey, stop talking like hockey players.
Reilly: Why would girls think we like that, bud?
Both: We fuckin' hate that!
Reilly: Ah, man, we might be waxed here, bud. I mean, I want W's, but I can't talk to her. I can't do it. I'll fucking pop.
Jonesy: I'm with you, bro. I was already starting to snap-crackle.
- Dan: (fart)
Wayne: 'Cause you're not exposed to fart in front of girls.
Katy: True story.
Dan: You're suffocatings me.
Katy: That's a two-way street
- Reilly: She's divided the room.
Katy: I bet she divides in a room.
- McMurray: Look at this mess! Look at all the dirty butt-filled cans. Degenerates.
Daryl: Bet that's not your first dirty butt fill.
- Is Wayne serious with that turtleneck?
- "Coach, players-only meeting"
- Shep and Kingsley have body image issues
- Jivin Pete's is no longer a good guy
- Wayne and McMurray constantly interrupt each other
- "To be fair"
- Letterkenny needs some sort of bar
- The Ginger allegedly fucked an ostrich.
- When Reilly says he was about to "pop," and Jonesy that he was starting to "snap crackle," they are referring to the longtime cartoon mascots Kellogg's Rice Krispies breakfast cerealL Snap, Crackle, and Pop.
- EI is Employment Insurance, the national system in Canada covering unexpected job loss, sickness and injury, maternity/paternity, and like situations.
- The degen who speaks the last line, "Alistair," is not named until Way to a Man's Heart in Season 4.
According to Tunefind, the following songs are featured in this episode:
- Punk by Ferry Corsten (unmasking the clown)
- Eat the Prize by The Mae Shi (end credits)
- the other Letterkenny Irish
- Kingsley and Shep
- Joint Boy
- The Ginger and Boots
- Alastair and the degens