Back to Back to Back is the fifth episode of Season 5 of Letterkenny.
The Hockey Players try to win their first championship and Stewart is visited by some old friends.
You went shopping for a whiskey night the other day… — Wayne
From the kitchen, Katy comments on the enormous bottle of Gus N' Bru which The Hicks have acquired; "better to be lookin' at it than lookin' for it," notes Wayne. Katy reports that Gus has dropped a "Mr. Big" on the floor; Dan confirms he left a "Hershey bar," and Daryl a "Twix." Wayne defends Gus, saying that since he has turned 10, he should have a comfortable life as a senior. Katy objects to stopping discipline simply because he's getting old. Wayne gives an unserious lecture to Gus. Dan tries his hand, using the conflict resolution language he has learned from Professor Tricia. Wayne, unwilling to subject Gus to such language, sends him away. They can smell that "Mr. Wonka has emptied his pockets" in the other room and start to search for it.
Better to be lookin' at it than lookin' for it, eh?" — Wayne
Jonesy and Reilly enter the Shamrockettes dressing room at the hockey arena to see if they can resolve Mary-Anne and Betty-Anne's fight over a man. They stand helpless, however, as the two women tear into each other verbally.
Your mitt looks like the drooping jowls of a sharpei with a palsy and a water wing in its mouth. — Betty-Anne
Your mitt looks like the back of Kelsey Grammer's head circa Frasier '94, if the cast each autographed his bald spot with multi-coloured lipsticks. — Mary-Anne
The Skids, gathered in the basement, hear Stewart making various threats against Everett. Roald calls him down, and Stewart approaches Everett to demand the Dark Web. Suddenly, Glen comes down, joined by Gae, to tell Stewart that they are holding an intervention for him. Gae tells him they are taking him to rehab, which he repeatedly refuses. Katy enters and insists, and Stewart acquiesces.
Back at the dressing room, Jonesy and Reilly tell the women that they have spoken with Shoresy, and claim he said they suck at hockey, that they should stick to ringette, that they should never ever let a woman do a man's job, and other sexist comments. Betty-Anne and Mary-Anne get progressively angrier. Told that Shoresy scoffs at their ability to go back-to-back-to-back, prompting Mary-Anne and Betty-Anne to call a truce and dedicate themselves to winning the championship.
A montage ensues of training and hockey games. The Shamrockettes gradually rise in the rankings, ending the season in the number one slot, and will play the Donegal Bulldogettes for the championship.
The Hicks look forward to winning another championship in a sweep. Katy will not join them, as she wants to welcome Stewart back from rehab. The boys meet up with their doppelgangers from Donegal— Dwayne, Cheryl, and Stan— in the parking lot of the Donegal arena and the groups chirp each other on their respective teams, but shake hands to say may the best team win.
The team and coaches are excited for a sweep in game four, but Shoresy appears; he will be a linesman at the game. He tells Betty-Anne and Mary-Anne that he never said the sexist things they think he did—but then he insults them further, and their resolve remains unchanged.
Back at the basement, Glen reports to Katy, Gae, Everett, and the Skids that Stewart's recovery has been remarkable, and that he is almost unrecognizable. They gasp as Stewart enters, unseen to the audience.
The game is scoreless with less than four and a half minutes left in the third period, and the Shamrockettes call a time out. During the time out, Shoresy comes over and chirps Reilly and Jonesy, angering the whole team. Betty-Anne scores a goal, assisted by Mary-Anne, to win the championship, sending the crowd into a frenzy.
They raise the cup and kiss it, then hand it to Jonesy and Reilly, but the Coach grabs it out of their hands and collapses on the floor clutching it, sobbing with joy.
Reilly and Jonesy contemplate the win to the emptied arena—for once, in complete silence. The reverie is interrupted by text messages from their mothers—who are looking for Shoresy.
Hey sweetie. Just trying to track down your friend Shoresy. Have you seen him? — Jonesy's mom
- Betty-Anne: The last guy that was into Mary-Anne was the priest at Catholic school in grade six. And only 'cause he thought she was a boy.
Mary-Anne: Well-done, Betty-Anne, Catholic school, grade six. Isn't that the same year you got the nickname Fisted Sister? Which you gave yourself?
Mary-Anne: And a fitting nickname it was, Betty-Anne. Your mitt looks like a boa constrictor unhinged its jaw in an effort to consume a combat submarine.
Betty-Anne: Speaking of consumption, your mitt looks like the drooping jowls of a sharpei with a palsy and a water wing in its mouth.
Mary-Anne: Your mitt looks like the back of Kelsey Grammer's head circa Frasier '94, if the cast each autographed his bald spot with multi-coloured lipsticks.
Betty-Anne: Your mitt has more spiderwebs than a No Doubt set list, Mary-Anne.
Mary-Anne: Betty-Anne, your mitt is so dusty, I can hear it singing "Son of a Preacher Man."
- Shoresy: I made your mum cum so hard they made a Canadian Heritage Minute out of it and Don McKellar played my dick.
- Shoresy: I made your mum so wet, Trudeau deployed a 24-hour infantry unit to stack sandbags around my bed.
- Shoresy: Your lives are so fucking pathetic I ran a 15K to raise awareness for it, you fuckin' losers.
- Stewart: I'm going to rip off his ears and use them to tickle his taint…. I'm going to scalp him of his skin, wear it like a costume, and perform the Rocky Horror Picture Show in its entirety while he watches….
- Mary-Anne: We're just taking a break from cooking and cleaning to win back-to-back-to-back 'ships, asshole.
Betty-Anne: I'll make you a sandwich afterwards, though. I'll shove it up your ass for you, too.
- Shoresy: Your mum groped me two Halloweens ago, shut the fuck up or I'll take it to Twitter.
- Girls… Ladies… Women…
- The Dark Web
- The Ginger and Boots (allegedly) fucked an ostrich
- Ringette is a non-contact sport originating in Ontario in 1963. It is similar to ice hockey but played by using a straight stick to drive a rubber ring into the opponent's goal. It is primarily played by females.
- Some ads at the Donegal arena include Jim Dickens' Auction House (last Wednesday of every month at the Letterkenny Agricultural Hall) and for Guy's Fries ("best poutine in Ontario").
- Even though Darien and Connor never speak, both retrieve letters to read aloud at Stewart's intervention.
According to Tunefind, the following songs are featured in this episode:
- I Love the Bloody Beetroots by The Bloody Beetroots (Shamrockettes montage)
- Lowest Dive by Monotonix (the sweep)
- Terminus by Metrik (the intervention)
- The other Letterkenny Shamrockettes
- The Donegal hicks: Dwayne (Tommy Marshall), Cheryl (Dana Schiemann), and Stan (Josh Bainbridge)